Friday, July 07, 2006

Dropping Bonds

bonds
I saw the Bonds / steroids book authors last night. I asked whether race played a role in the reporting on steroids. Writer Lance Williams started his answer by saying that race plays a role in everything in America and finished by saying that Barry makes $18 million per year, so he cannot be criticized as much as Barry. He was being facetious in the latter comment.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

DVD OUT NOW!

Failure to Launch is out on DVD, and I star in one of five "featurettes." See it here now What are you waiting for?!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Spam-A-Day: Daily Dose of Spam Poetry

manners farewells Emmett slackness Elmhurst auger tolled manipulate residual nude expectingly college loans [url=http://collegeloans.novacspacetravel.com/] college loans [/url] college loans http://collegeloans.novacspacetravel.com/ http://collegeloans.novacspacetravel.com/ .

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Gateway Bug

Late in summer 2001, my laptop wouldn't start. I don't remember why but I'm almost certain it was user error. I had it since I got to college, about a year and a half at that point.

I worked two jobs that summer, one for my grandpa and one for the Palo Alto Weekly. In my offtime, I took the laptop in to a Gateway store in the South Bay. The problem persisted. As I left for Bolivia to study abroad that fall, I gave it to mother to get fixed.

She sent it to their repair people in Texas.

Sept. 11, 2001, came and went.

Gateway said the computer had suspicious literature or material on it, according to my mother. They sent it back without a hard drive in it.

That sucked and I complained to no avail. I got a new hard drive and made copies of my files. My sister found one and joked about me hiding it from the government.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Sorties

I'm gonna write some stories, me getting my computer stolen, me getting etc...cuz I'm sittin' at work with nothing to do.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Pirate Space


There once was a pirate named Bluefields. He used computers and space-age spy technology to eat his breakfast. When he came to play with other little pirates, he would fit right in and direct them. They would push their little pirate ships around the map they had in day care.

One day he was called upon to lead a real pirate ship into battle. Battle is a hard thing. But when you are a pirate you need to make certain compromises.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Cauze

UPDATE: Put the Genocide in your school's curriculum! I interviewed Armenian Professor Hayg Oshagan on the Genocide remembrance movement.


Armenian scion Oliver Gordon, pictured at right, stands with Fr. Vazken Movsesian. They put on a night of remembrance of the Armenian Genocide at Sacred Heart Prep in Atherton, Calif. I attended along with some family. Dort and Grandma spoke Armenian the whole time. I also put up this piece about the band System of a Down's genocide-related activities...Basically I think it's a cool cause and my family has something to say about it. Grandma Rose used to be all freaked out sometimes that "the gates are closing" at night. I think that refers to some nighttime security thing in the Old Country, like you had to get inside the gates before they closed. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with the Genocide, but it still reinforced the idea that in the past, bad things happened. Whatever. I was an impressionable youth, though, and that made for good story.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Raf's Face


This is Raf. He is an excellent vegan cook. He lived at my and Adam Kader's and this woman's apartment in La Paz. Dirty frenchie. What's in that guy's hand? Pool cue? Didgeridoo? Raf sent the shot to Adam recently. I guess they're still in touch.

Photoz

Watch me flickr, watch the stars

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Cute phase



That's Tina with a model of her boyfriend's teeth, or maybe someone else's. Maybe it's a model of no one's teeth, just the perfect conception of a mouth of teeth. Or, rather the execution of the conception of perfect teeth. Yeah. Anyway, she goes to dental school with a bunch of mormons. She doesn't fit in too well, I guess. That's okay. She's got her own planet in my book.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Movie Times


Hey, everyone go see Failure to Launch today, even though I'm not technically in it.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Google Haze

I published this in the Alexandria Times. I guess I forgot to mention how they said, "No Comment," about the actual uses of the technology.

Alexandria Web

Google wins patent for wireless technology
By PETER MICEK
Alexandria Times
Special Writer

There could be a few more O’s in Google soon.

The company stepped toward a more diverse panoply of products by landing patent number 6,982,945 on Jan. 3 at the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office in Alexandria, for technology enabling faster transfers of voice and data wirelessly.

The “baseband direct sequence spread spectrum transceiver” uses CDMA technology, something developed to encrypt secret messages during the Second World War.

CDMA stands for Code Division Multiple Access, where signals spread over a variety of frequencies, rather than just one, to send messages as quickly as possible. In World War II, the Allies developed CDMA to send messages in pieces over several frequencies, making them harder to decode.

The patent application, filed in 2001, makes reference to possible uses of the new technology.

“With high speed wireless access,” it reads, “mobile users can obtain instant access to the Internet, business data (e.g., stock market quotes, sales reports, inventory information, price checks, customer data, emails, pages, etc.), and other real time data (e.g., traffic updates, weather information, sports news, etc.).

The goal is to provide cellular handsets, personal digital assistants, portable communications devices, etc. the ability to transmit and receive digital data as well as make conventional telephone calls. The trend is towards ever faster mobile data speeds to meet customer demands. With greater data speeds, it is possible to provide even more data to more users.”

Decoding Google’s intentions may be less difficult than reading the patent form. Though he admits he’s “no expert” on the wireless industry, Search Engine Watch blogger and news editor Gary Price asks, “Could licensing this technology to various wireless providers be a new revenue stream for Google?”

Another blogger, Om Malik of “Om Malik’s Blog,” links the new technology to Google’s unveiling of search and email services for mobile phones. All the data, Malik says, points toward the Mountain View, Calif.-based company moving into the wireless realm.

Google made headlines last year for its offer of wireless internet services free across the city. More recently, it denied the United States government a chance to view all the search terms entered into the search engine, while agreeing to help the Chinese government censor the information its citizens post and view.

News, not all of it good, piles up on search giant.

Though countries worldwide use its services, Google does 76 percent of its sales in the United States and Britain. Recent problems in British markets led to a temporary drop of nearly 20 percent in Google’s stock price. Business analysts see little chance for diversification in the short term.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Unfazed


People dissin' on MP, my hometown, but still I return. Unfazed. Amazing? I guess. Others go to and fro while still I jam on the b-ball courts of my old school, unmasking the posers, and rejecting the downers. Come by, if you dare, to the town in between Nawlin's and SF.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Vice Presidential Daze

For the record, I think Elmer Fudd makes a nice foil to Bugs.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Sea Wayz


I know this looks weird -- what is seaweed and kelp doing on my blog -- but that's really my friend Brian and I dressed up. Brian's roommate Natasha Shannon took the pictures, she didn't even need an underwater camera.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Backwriting 2.1, The oldest thing ever

Homeless terror saves boy

It’s like. I lost my computer the other day, while drinking in and outside a cafĂ© near my work. It was in a green backpack and stolen. Stolen along with my backpack, which I have not received back. The computer I have. But it will never be the same.


I cleansed my computer with lotion the night I got it back. The night before, I could not sleep until I thought to myself, yes, I will get a replacement. Though I thought it unlikely the company would issue another one, I agreed to go to sleep believing it would.


The next morning, I remembered I felt bad but I could not remember why. The dream I had the night before was just a dream, and this made me feel good, that it was over. But I quickly remembered why I felt bad.

My dad noticed it immediately when he said hi in the mornig. Or maybe he asked how I was. My tone of voice alone clued him in. “why just okay?” he might have said. I lost my computer, I might have said. Maybe I said it was stolen.

The signs I put up said it was lost. See you around. The cop said I was lucky. So did a lot of other people. I guess. I pointed out to my friend, there at the time of the stealing, I never asked for the computer.

Computer had its files erased. Who could have dones that? Mexican guy with a knife, drunk? Doubtful. Homeless guy? Hmmm. Motel owner with his own computer system? Likelier. But fine.

“Knife fight, sleazy motel owner, and the cops” - Elena.

Shine that “Elena” symbol in the sky

Honestly, motel guy wanted me to be there, or the cops, when he busted on the door. He probably got $ for the computer, from either Charles “Bill” Burns or Charles’ “friend,” who may or may not exist. Charles, who told me his name was Bill as we walked over to the motel, has a beard and big holes in his shoes. I gave him five dollars later to buy new ones. He said they cost seven, but agreed five was “a good start,” as I said.

But really, this is about a computer. i’m going to stop punctuating. He led me to the motel and left me half a block from it. He walked away slowly and I couldn’t understand what I was doing, there, going into a motel front office to confront a guy I’d never met about a computer he supposedly bought. For 150 dollars out of which he’d only received 125, according to Charles “Bill” Burns. I am wasting my time. Anyways I got the computer back. The files were mostly erased, all the obbious ones. But he or she or it but likely he had not changed the names that pop up when turning on the computer, fairly obvious indicators I used to show the cops this thing is mine. The sticker, though, was missing. I painstakingly lopped that sticker, of a rat, on top of my machine Monday night, or Sunday. “I want to curl up into a little ball.” - “ah.” “are you really sorry I lost the computer?” - “yes.”

A big shining E in the sky. E for Elena. But did not want to walk all the way back to work. Thank god “Bill” yelled my name. we agreed to call the police and did. But it was too late. The cops has already been called. By the sleazy motel owner. A slight south asian man, balding. Young. Visibly shaken when I saw him next. And mad at me for not staying by his side as he checked the rooms. “I told you him to be there with me. Where is my backpack? My beanie? Actually the beanie is/was not aaaahhh what is mine? “My mother bought the computer.” “I picked up that beanie at a friend’s house I hang out at.” Somone left it there. Leave me there. But yes, body lotion on the console. Rubbed it along the sleek smooth cracks on the shell. Smelled sexy, rubbed it on the black chord so smooth, the power chord. Made love to me.oh oh lost my identity.

Monday, February 06, 2006

No Blog Today

To protest Google's censorship in China, I will not post a story today. Google owns this blog site.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Awards Nightz


The night lasted well into the night. We gave awards to many people. These are not them. Brian and Elena before selling mad directories:


Afterwards, the halls were alive. Thanks for the picture of me, Meredith, you intern you.



Mom finds true love.

Eugenia stands in profile while Mark stands tall. Finally, Brian reports how many directories they hawked.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Pho, A Vietnamese soup


MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I love pho. I wonder how many chickens died for my meal today.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Africa Speaks


African activist and nutritionist Ruth Oniang'o, Ph.D., has a prescription for African leaders. It involves serving the people who voted them into office.

Dear Friends
I was asked to put down what I would say in 10 minutes to African Heads of State meeting in Sudan next week. This is what I wrote. It will appear somewhere on the internet but I thought you deserve the privilege of getting this first hand from me.
Have a nice weekend.
Ruth

Africa is a great continent, with a rich culture and currently the best natural resource base in the world. Look at the diverse cultures, the different climatic conditions, the widely varied topography but most importantly, the people's unique spirit of survival and resilience.

But there is a dearth of good leadership in Africa. Africans would not be difficult to please or to govern, if only their leaders would listen to them, if only their leaders could pull down the walls around their State Houses, if only their leaders could refuse to eat until their people have eaten, if only their leaders would nurture them the same way mother hen protects her chicks against vultures. Africa has leaders who want for themselves first, who have lost close ties with the people they govern, who worry more about today while they leave tomorrow to worry about itself, who quickly think they are in State house to serve only their relatives or ethnic groups, who lack a vision for the whole continent, who do not know how to mobilize and utilize the rich human resource we have on the continent.

Heads of State are there because people put them there, and want them to be there. This is one thing they should remember every single day. It is immoral and ungodly for any child or adult to starve to death, for whatever reason, when there is plenty of food, and when food designed for the famine stricken people is being sold by those who are able. This is what we call corruption; it amounts to immorality of the highest order. It is immoral for us to look on as our women are defiled and raped. What would you do if it were your mother, sister, daughter or grandmother? It is immoral for us to exclude anybody for whatever reason. You are a leader of all your people and not of only those who supported you. Leaders should go by example and when the going gets tough, just go back to your spiritual book, whether the Bible or the Koran, and recoil to your maker for inspiration and advice.

Our Creator was good enough to ensure that all of us die, and all of us age. No human being is immortal, so it does not matter how many terms one serves, eventually one must pass on the mantle. And it would be better to do this, then, when one is still popular and to follow the provisions of the constitution. A country cannot be left leaderless, and no leader is indispensable, no human being is anyway. We should instead worry about the legacy we are going leave behind. We would be better people if we worried about the TRUE things that would be said about us when we die. Surely we must prepare young people for leadership so they do not agitate to take over unprepared and prematurely. The intergenerational aspect of leadership is one that few leaders worry about.

They spend more time fire fighting.

Am I being too critical? Maybe. But then I do not have the luxury of time. And I do not wish to be judged harshly by future generations, that there was a lot I could have done but never did. Well, there is a lot more I could have said if I had time. I do not envy our positions, but then you are there. Do your best, and be satisfied to have done your best when you leave office.

Africa is not short of friends. There are many. The AID that we receive comes from the sweat of the tax payers in those countries. How do you think they feel when they hear of all the corruption? Why should they care more about your citizens than you do ourselves? Why should they sacrifice their comfort more than we do?

SERVE and earn the respect of your people, rather than rule and be feared by your citizens.

Impulsive response by Ruth Oniang'o

#######################################################
Prof. Ruth K. Oniang'o, PhD
Founder, Rural Outreach Program (ROP) www.ropkenya.org
AND
Editor-in-Chief, African Journal of Food, Agriculture, Nutrition and
Development (AJFAND)
Formerly: African Journal of Food and Nutritional Sciences (AJFNS)
Shelter Afrique Centre, Kilimanjaro Avenue Off Mara Road, Upper Hill
P.O. Box 29086-00625
Nairobi, KENYA
Tel: +254-20-2737989
Fax: +254-20-2734039
Email: oniango@iconnect.co.ke
Website: www.ajfand.net
#####################################################

-----Original Message-----
From: Josephat Juma [mailto:juma@irenkenya.com]
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 9:05 AM
To: oniango@iconnect.co.ke
Subject: Opinion

Dear Hon.Prof.Oniango,

The African Heads of State meet in Sudan next week.

If you were given a ten minute hearing in their forum:

1.What would you tell them about your country?

2.What five things would you tell them about Africa in general?

I will appreciate you responses before Jan.16 2005.

Regards,

Josephat Juma.

www.africanexecutive.com

Friday, January 20, 2006

Police Gaze


Look at these police cameras in Chicago. They're huge! Like an ice box on a toothpick! I do like the two-tone ska borders though.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Filming at Pete's House

Photo by Brian Relph
The producers of the DVD for upcoming Paramount Pictures film Failure to Launch landed at my house to interview us. They are interested in the phenomenon of children remaining at home with the family rather than going out and getting their own places. Their DVD will include a short documentary on the phenomenon featuring interviews of people like me and the family. Or maybe they scouted my house for a porn shoot, who knows.

They claimed to have found me through the "twixter" article I wrote.

Dad took pictures of the bunch of us talking around the carefully laid-out catering spread mom prepared.
Any other Hollywood types want to come by, you know the place. Just don't expect me to cook for you.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Rock-On-Top


This band is Fiero and they play fiery, sort of trance-like, sexy rock with instrumental leanings. The yelling vocals appear and disappear quickly, very slippery, just like the rocking guitar solos that pierce the din. They have no bassist.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Moderation

I did not finish my drink, and that's A-OK with me, boss. The meal was pretty good to go with it. And I didn't pay a cent. Thanks, Sandy! In other news, I might be cooking more. I am looking at an apartment tonight, thanks to my friend Eugenia and her helpful car, and might need to save a few pennies, hence the cooking. I wonder what other aspects of my life might change. Any ideas, anyone out there?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Cathedral Rock


Place: Grace Cathedral, next door to San Fran's Masonic Temple
Time: Before the Barenaked Ladies show

At the Masonic Temple, they made us finish our drinks before entering the auditorium. Freakin' Masons. But the show started quickly. The band rapped about their lives touring and played holiday music with a rock twist. I went with my dad and some Montanan friends of his. They love BNLadies a lot, who just happen to be from Canada (which just happens to be near Montana). Coincidence? I think not.